MEscovery

The news. It should be renamed. It's not just informing you about what is going on in the world. It takes the latest occurrences, filters out the uplifting (unimportant?) stuff and slaps the rest of it in your face. Day. Ruined. I've limited myself to the news app on my phone in the morning and evening. And the radio news in the car. That's as much as I can take. Does that make me ignorant? Probably. Do I not care about what goes on in the world? Very much so. Too much probably. It haunts me. Little news snippets. 10 years on. I can still visualise certain news reports. Pictures shown. I don't just watch it and consider myself informed. It soaks into me and goes with me for the day, for life. I should probably learn to separate emotion from the news, but how can you not be devastated and disheartened by so much of the stuff that makes the headlines? It's a trade off between feeling well-informed and depressed. The older I get, the more I have gone into self p

It's what all parents are thinking about and talking about. Some have even been dreaming about it since the start of the summer. The kids are starting school again this week.  With it comes the exhilaration at your new found freedom or the sad feeling that the summer together has gone all too soon. And that we will miss not only the sun but the time spent together.  Kids will be lining up to join their old friends again or standing around looking for a familiar friendly face in an overwhelming sea of people. As a parent you always hope that your child will be equipped with the strength and self confidence to deal with any feelings of loneliness or fear. There is no greater gut wrenching moment than when you fear your child is the one feeling like the odd one out or "Billy no mates".  My child is lucky to have had many friends in her class in the last few years.  This year she will be starting a new class, with barely a close friend in it. Not as bad as starting afresh in

As I'm on holiday at the moment and lying by the pool (stick around, I'm going somewhere with this) it's only natural to have a look around at all the people surrounding me. Men, women. All different nationalities, ages and body shapes.  I start playing the ranking game. Not very consciously but nevertheless I do it. A woman might be taller and leaner but have a slightly bigger belly. Bigger boobs but chubbier legs. Pretty arms but pasty skin. I think it's a way of confirming my own body shape is not perfect but neither is anyone else's. Would I want to swap one of my flaws for another? I wonder if we were put in a room by ourselves with no one to compare ourselves to or measure against would we be happier to accept who we are? Does the culture to share and compare through magazines, social networking etc. feed into our insecurities or is it a way for us to "like" ourselves by highlighting the areas we like and blurring out those which we don't.  I'

It's been a busy old month. Lots of change, with highs and very lows. But we are looking ahead now. Good things are on the horizon. Plenty of nice things to look forward to. So with that, let's put on some cheerful music, pick some new songs to listen to and get inspired to make it a great summer. Music can change my mood pretty quickly. If I put on a soppy, folky track I can write the most melancholic post ever. Put on a bright, dance tune and I'll skip the writing for a bit of a dance and the energy boost it gives me might result in a clean house (or room at least) or a speedy run. Finding a new favourite song can put me in a great mood and inspire new adventures. Projects will get started and if it's a really good song, the project might actually get finished too. There isn't much more entertaining to my children than me dancing around like a loon in the kitchen while we cook dinner.  In contrast a sad song can evoke the strongest emotions. I rememb

I rock. At least today I did. And some of this week. In fact, I'm starting to realise that I rock quite a lot of the time. Especially when I'm in a situation which scares the hell out of me. I'm noticing more and more that the things which make me feel great about myself are those which I dread the most. It's so much easier to stay within my comfort zone and not push myself to do the things that scare me, that when I do breakout of that comfy, cosy safe area it's a great surprise to feel the boost of self-esteem and confidence which inevitably comes from doing so. That scary presentation, the uncomfortable lunch with someone unknown, going for dinner with people you don't know very well, standing up for yourself at work and being proud of what you achieve. These are the things that give the biggest boost of energy when you push yourself to do them and surprisingly, you do them well.  Never been fond of pushing myself too much. Maybe that's why in the past wh

I stood next to someone at the tills today. I knew that person and yet I totally pretended I hadn't even spotted them. I may have even looked the other way and scooted off before they got a chance to notice me. Not because I don't like that person. It's just that in that moment I panic slightly about exactly who this person is and where I know them from.  I quite often go blank when I need to remember someone's name. That's if I even realise I know that person before they approach and I have to frantically flick through my internal contact list to try and look less blank - even worse when you have to introduce two acquaintances. Excruciating.  I do genuinely like most of these people. It's not a lack of care or interest in them that causes the social memory loss. But I definitely wasn't first in line when facial recognition was being handed out. My phone probably has a better chance of that than I do. Siri - help! Does anyone know of any tric

While I am writing this my three year old daughter is proudly singing along to Frozen songs. The fact she doesn't quite know all the words is not a concern at all. She sings with a little smile on her face and mumbles along to the parts which are a little confusing and hikes up the volume for those parts where she knows the words perfectly "Do you want to build a snowman?" "Okay, bye!". Not a day goes by where I don't catch myself admiring my children's self confidence to go and be bold, sing out loud (not bothered about being pitch perfect or knowing the words), shout out to friends across the road (oh, my heart always sinks when the friend doesn't respond straight away ("They might not have heard you, sweetie."), talk proudly about their achievements of the day - however small ("I didn't wee in my pants! Now, can I play a game tonight?"). Some adults seem to keep that self belief long after we leave childhood behind. Oth

This is the fifth attempt at starting a new blog post. If you're reading this, it means I've decided it's good enough (or I've given up on attempting better*). It's been a busy few weeks. We've had visitors. Well, one. My lovely mother has been over to stay for a while and has kindly let us escape some of the school holidays for a (well deserved?) break away - you know, to see if the husband and I can still stand each other when the kids aren't around. The house has been wrecked/tidied/wrecked and the kids have never been fed so well nor been entertained/played as much. So you would think the day we 'go back to normal' would be a slowly unwinding, falling back into place kind of day. Instead the kids are still up (there was screeching at bath time) and the husband and I are just a little bit lost without our dinner cooked for us and a welcoming face awaiting us after school/work. She came in a little car laden down with food/drinks/christmas pr

We're having a sunny day here. I realise that the rest of the country is flooding, but let's focus on the rapidly approaching spring. Days are lighter longer, the sun is shining and birds are tweeting. Soon it will be summer and with that, time to bare all. Bikini anyone? I have always been pretty confident when it comes to just wearing what I like. You know those people  who see themselves as lots bigger than they really are? Not me, I'm probably more on the delusional side where I tend to think it's not that bad. Surely not. Can't be. It's all good. But then a picture will show up that makes me question my whole theory. It's like a slap in the face seeing yourself in black and white (or colour), on paper or on screen. Especially when the person you are looking at looks nothing like the person you thought you allowed to walk out of the house after a look in the mirror that day. Usually the person in the photo looks a lot less sleek, pretty and slim th

Date Night. I remember when I used to get butterflies at the thought of going out on a date. Now, it's more likely that about twenty minutes before the babysitter is due I decide that maybe it's time to brush my hair, fix my make up and try to find something to wear.  Gone are the days of having a glass of wine whilst getting "glammed up". These days a cup of coffee to give me the energy to get out the door after 8pm is more appropriate.  I do still enjoy going out. Who wouldn't like to go out to eat food prepared for you by someone else, with no tidying up to do, no laundry baskets glaring at you from the corner of the room and actually being civilised enough to sit down at a table and have a conversation whilst eating said food? Unfortunately the talk usually centres around children, house plans and occasionally a trip down memory lane to when we were child free and care free. Which then takes us back to children talk. We're not at the

Which one describes your personality best? Introvert/Extrovert Calm/Energetic Creative/Organised Positive/Negative Fun/Boring Spontaneous/Structured What if you find you fit each and everyone one of them depending on the day/situation you are in? I find that I have such a dual personality, a mix (or mismatch) of characteristics and behaviours which are contradicting and yet complimentary to each other. I'm sure this is true for most people, we are of course not two dimensional, black and white creatures. It's like having pieces of different puzzles thrown together and trying to join them up. We're all just going to have to get creative with which of the pieces to feature depending on how we want our picture to look. At work, I try to feature the calm, organised, positive, structured puzzle pieces. At home I can be introvert, energetic, calm, creative, fun, spontaneous. It's a bit of a pick and mix. I think we all choose different versions of ourselves

The art of being content. It's something tricky that word. Content.  I can be happy. It's having a laugh with my children, doing something I enjoy, being with people I love. All those things are moments which make me happy. Smily, "oh what fun" kind of times. Think Pharrell's 24 hour Happy dance kind of times. And then I check Facebook, read an article, watch the news and something will take me back to the reality of life where there are things to want, people to compare yourself to, stuff to worry about.  When Christmas or birthdays come I struggle to think of things I want. Yet, in a second I can go from not needing anything to impulse buying something because I just have to have it. Not. Good. Marketeers dream. I would say in general all the boxes are ticked. Family, health, work, house, love. Tick, tick, tick. And yet... It's so easy to take that for granted and look "over the fence". Just checking that the grass isn't greene

After having been back home for over a week we are settling nicely into a routine of late nights, lie ins and feasting. Life's been a party. But the inevitable is coming. Normality. I've always hated that Sunday feeling; waiting for Monday morning. It's the same feeling I get when a holiday gets near the end, the party is starting to slow down and everyone starts to think about what is next.  The thing is, I like what is "next", the normality. It's just that I am not great with finishing things. I think I mentioned that before. So the whole packing up, saying goodbye and falling back into the mundane routines is currently looming and hangs over my head a little like a pesky cloud not dark enough to rain, but to cast a shadow over my last few sunny days of holiday bliss.  Time to give myself a little talking to. It's been a great holiday, a great year. Time to start enjoying looking ahead. I'm no good with New Year's resolutions as I wou