While I am writing this my three year old daughter is proudly singing along to Frozen songs. The fact she doesn't quite know all the words is not a concern at all. She sings with a little smile on her face and mumbles along to the parts which are a little confusing and hikes up the volume for those parts where she knows the words perfectly "Do you want to build a snowman?" "Okay, bye!".
Not a day goes by where I don't catch myself admiring my children's self confidence to go and be bold, sing out loud (not bothered about being pitch perfect or knowing the words), shout out to friends across the road (oh, my heart always sinks when the friend doesn't respond straight away ("They might not have heard you, sweetie."), talk proudly about their achievements of the day - however small ("I didn't wee in my pants! Now, can I play a game tonight?").
Some adults seem to keep that self belief long after we leave childhood behind. Others, I count myself in this group, have lost most of it along the way. Being so brave or bold seems foolish or too vulnerable when we get older. It leaves us open to criticism and ridicule, to hurt and disappointment.
Those people who keep the confidence are sometimes seen as arrogant, in denial or just boastful.
I wonder what makes some of us loose that childlike freedom to be ourself, flaws and all. To believe that what we are doing is great, just because we are doing it, not because of how we are perceived by others while doing it.
Looking back along the years I can definitely mark a few moments as little 'chipping away at the confidence' events: comments made by a teacher, a friend, a stranger, a colleague. Some of these seemed to put their finger on a sore point, an area of self doubt, thereby deepening that negative perception of ourselves. Others took me by surprise, pointed out something I thought I was confident about and pulling the rug from under my feet so to speak. I never quite looked at the rug the same way, long after it was put back in its place...
The older I get, the more I fight those feelings of "I'm not good enough to do this". After all, the type of people I admire and like to be with are those who possess some of those childlike qualities. They allow themselves to do what they like, unaware or not caring about what others think of them. Some go a step too far and are seen as arrogant, but maybe they are only seen as annoying because we all have a slight envy for their self belief, justified or not.
Aren't people more interesting to be with the more open and honest they are? Those who dare to express themselves, embracing their individuality, are the ones who stand out to me as the people I'd like to surround myself with.
So here's to expressing yourself without being self critical or self conscious. In the words of my daughter's songs: "Let it go! Let it go! Here I stand in the light of day...".
Not a day goes by where I don't catch myself admiring my children's self confidence to go and be bold, sing out loud (not bothered about being pitch perfect or knowing the words), shout out to friends across the road (oh, my heart always sinks when the friend doesn't respond straight away ("They might not have heard you, sweetie."), talk proudly about their achievements of the day - however small ("I didn't wee in my pants! Now, can I play a game tonight?").
Some adults seem to keep that self belief long after we leave childhood behind. Others, I count myself in this group, have lost most of it along the way. Being so brave or bold seems foolish or too vulnerable when we get older. It leaves us open to criticism and ridicule, to hurt and disappointment.
Those people who keep the confidence are sometimes seen as arrogant, in denial or just boastful.
I wonder what makes some of us loose that childlike freedom to be ourself, flaws and all. To believe that what we are doing is great, just because we are doing it, not because of how we are perceived by others while doing it.
Looking back along the years I can definitely mark a few moments as little 'chipping away at the confidence' events: comments made by a teacher, a friend, a stranger, a colleague. Some of these seemed to put their finger on a sore point, an area of self doubt, thereby deepening that negative perception of ourselves. Others took me by surprise, pointed out something I thought I was confident about and pulling the rug from under my feet so to speak. I never quite looked at the rug the same way, long after it was put back in its place...
The older I get, the more I fight those feelings of "I'm not good enough to do this". After all, the type of people I admire and like to be with are those who possess some of those childlike qualities. They allow themselves to do what they like, unaware or not caring about what others think of them. Some go a step too far and are seen as arrogant, but maybe they are only seen as annoying because we all have a slight envy for their self belief, justified or not.
Aren't people more interesting to be with the more open and honest they are? Those who dare to express themselves, embracing their individuality, are the ones who stand out to me as the people I'd like to surround myself with.
So here's to expressing yourself without being self critical or self conscious. In the words of my daughter's songs: "Let it go! Let it go! Here I stand in the light of day...".
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